Isaiah Cohen

Isaiah Cohen is one of the main protagonists of Special School, and the son of Joshua and Alisa Cohen. He is mostly known for his tendency to come up with far-fetched and at times absurd conspiracy theories about seemingly innocent things such as Healthy Harold, Ronald McDonald and The Wiggles. He is also obsessed with clowns, and has an odd fascination with toilets.

Background
Isaiah is the eldest child and only son of Joshua and Alisa Cohen, and he has a 3 year old sister called Amber. They currently live in an apartment in Rose Bay, Sydney.

Isaiah’s family is Jewish and he proudly embraces his identity and observes many Jewish holidays and traditions. His family does not appear to keep kosher though, as he often eats non-kosher food such as McDonald’s, gummy bears, hot dogs and KFC. He often talks about his future bar mitzvah, proclaiming that it will be held at Luna Park. He has expressed interest in learning Hebrew, mostly so he can say inappropriate phrases in the language.

At the age of 4 Isaiah was diagnosed with autism, and attended early intervention the following year. He then started attending the Autism Support program at Eastern Beaches Primary School, where he is still a student.

Appearance
Isaiah has pale skin, dark brown hair and brown eyes, which he describes as ‘poo-coloured’. He claims to have the bushiest eyebrows in fourth grade, a claim that most of his peers agree with.

His typical everyday outfit consists of a blue and green tartan button-up shirt, blue jeans and black Doghouse shoes from Rivers.

Personality
Towards outsiders, Isaiah is extremely guarded and shy. He typically avoids talking to people he doesn’t know very well, unless they discuss something that piques his interest. To those that are close to him, Isaiah is cheerful, chatty and enthusiastic, especially when it comes to his special interests.

He has a passion for all things silly and goofy, with clowns being one of his main special interests.

Isaiah is also very analytical, and as a result he will often look very deeply into mundane things, and come up with crazy stories. This is evident by his fascination with conspiracy theories.

A recurring theme throughout the story is Isaiah's belief that children are discriminated against, and his desperation to grow up so he can be taken more seriously. This is the central theme of the episode Childism,

Isaiah can be quite morbid and lewd for his age, writing stories involving Healthy Harold and The Wiggles being on drugs, telling his friends about ‘AIDS needles’ and singing a violent parody of the Play School theme song.

Much like his father, Isaiah is very honest and will always tell someone if he feels like they’ve hurt him or someone else. However, he can be too honest at times and has trouble keeping some thoughts in his head (eg. telling Sam that his grandma smells like 'urinal cakes', telling Rachel to burn her Total Girl magazines, asking his fellow students and teachers if they have 'helmets' or 'socks', etc).

Likes:

 * Conspiracy theories
 * Clowns
 * Toilet talk
 * Wizz Fizz
 * Captain Underpants
 * McDonald's (he refers to it as Macca's)
 * Luna Park
 * Inappropriate humour
 * Chicken nuggets
 * Singing Madonna songs
 * Hanging out with Sam and Charlie
 * Telling scary stories
 * Scary PSAs/PIFs
 * Spongebob Squarepants
 * Playing the Wii
 * Apple shampoo
 * Strawberry milk

Dislikes:

 * Loud hand dryers
 * Not being taken seriously
 * Taylor Swift's music
 * Big crowds
 * Having his workbooks defaced
 * Total Girl magazine
 * Fortnite
 * Peppa Pig
 * Caden Parker
 * Beetroot
 * Being double dacked
 * Having his lunch money stolen
 * The new Wiggles
 * Brussels sprouts
 * Being called a retard
 * Loud toilet flushes
 * The book Cuthbert's Babies

Sam
Isaiah and Sam have been best friends since they were toddlers, and have an almost unbreakable bond. They currently attend the same school together, and consider themselves partners in crime.

Charlie
Charlie is Sam’s friend from school, who was introduced to Isaiah by Sam. The two are very close friends, although Charlie disagrees with many of Isaiah’s conspiracy theories.

Rachel
Isaiah is good friends with Rachel, as she is Sam’s twin sister. Rachel has an obvious crush on Isaiah, something that he is oblivious to. Although Isaiah finds most of Rachel’s interests ‘dumb’, he still enjoys talking to her and makes an effort to be nice when it comes to her interests.

Amber
Isaiah generally has a good relationship with his little sister, and is very protective of her. However, he finds her annoying and ‘smelly’ at times, and has an immense dislike of Amber's favourite show, Peppa Pig.

Joshua
Isaiah is very close to his father, and has a lot of admiration and respect for him. But Joshua also tends to be the butt of some of Isaiah's jokes, which Isaiah claims he makes because he loves him.

Alisa
Isaiah loves his mother very much, and he will often turn to her for emotional support and advice, like he does with his father. Unlike with Joshua, Isaiah typically doesn't make fun of Alisa because he doesn't think she's a 'funny target'.

Trivia

 * His favourite drink is Big M strawberry milk, much to the horror of Sam and Charlie.
 * It is mentioned by Rachel that Isaiah smells like apple shampoo.
 * Isaiah used to eat clag glue in kindergarten, according to Sam.
 * His most embarrassing moment was getting double dacked by Connor at a school athletics carnival.
 * When he was younger, Isaiah used to be scared of the Rage intro.
 * According to his father, Isaiah throws nearby objects when he is angry.
 * Isaiah claims that he got a hama bead stuck up his nose when he was 6 years old.
 * He was once the victim of a rumour claiming that he defecated in the urinal at school.
 * Isaiah doesn’t like beetroot, however he once ate an entire can of beetroot in an attempt to turn his urine red.
 * His email address is 3vilcrazycl0wnz@gmail.com.
 * In the episode School Play, Isaiah is shown to be a talented dancer. This is shown again in another episode, where he is impersonating Michael Jackson.

Quotes

 * "Cool."
 * “The Wiggles are all druggos, and nobody can convince me otherwise!”
 * “Y’know what Peppa Pig’s initials are? P.P. That’s right, peepee as in penis. And what’s another word for penis? Dick! Therefore, Peppa Pig is a dickhead!”
 * “So what if I like the sound of dial-up internet? I find it relaxing, it’s like that AMSR or whatever it’s called.”
 * “Enya’s music is used for calming down autistic kids during meltdowns.”
 * “Sam, I hate to say it but your grandma’s perfume lowkey smells like urinal cakes…”
 * “That Kylo Ren guy from Star Wars looks kinda like my dad, only my dad doesn’t have a stretched face and a Roblox character body. Ok, my dad does have a weird face, but it’s not as weird as that.”
 * “Why do all the 90’s singers that my dad likes sound like Squidward? Every time I hear one of those 90’s songs, I keep expecting the singer to tell Spongebob to go away or something.”
 * “Those girly magazines Rachel reads are so dumb! They have that most embarrassing moment page where they think something really not embarrassing like tripping in front of your crush is the most embarrassing thing in the world. I was DOUBLE DACKED at the athletics carnival! The whole school almost saw my privates! THAT’S embarrassment. K-Zone is so much better!”
 * “Why isn’t fruit salad milk a thing? Cause we have strawberry milk and banana milk, why not a milk with different fruit flavours? It could taste like a fruit salad go-gurt, and The Wiggles could endorse it!”
 * “Why do people never want to pair up with me for group projects, apart from my friends? Do they think that they’re gonna catch my autism, or are they worried that I’m gonna circumcise them with craft scissors?”